July 14, 2013
Clueless Joe and the 7 days of haram
Day 1 – We know the people behind boko haram – Jonathan
Day 2 – There are some boko haram members in my cabinet – Jonathan
Day 3 – We can’t grant amnesty to faceless people we don’t know – Jonathan
Day 4 – My govt. has set up amnesty for members of boko haram – Jonathan
Day 5 – My govt. hereby declares a state of emergency in boko haram states- Jonathan
Day 6 – Members of boko haram have signed a cease fire with the FG – Jonathan minister
Day 7 – We never signed any cease fire with FG – boko haram
{NewsRescue.com- Adapted from a PremiumTimes comment}
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2015: Africa’s Democracy Rises to the Challenge
We must commend the president for his support and assistance to minorities, his magical ability to add so much in Nigeria’s democracy which is now able to rise to any challenge. Minority is able to superceed majority! I.e. 16 superceeds 19 & 5 superceeds 27. We can bet on more of this advanced democratic geometrics 2015, as Nigeria’s democracy rises to challenge. Hahahahaha
– Adapted from a NewsRescue.com comment by Umar Shaba
July 18, 2013
The Gospel of Joe
The Gospel of Jonathan 16 vs 19: And after the sick king dies, shoeless Joe will be made king and much wonders will he perform and many miracles: First he will buy very many shoes. So many, he will own all the shoes in the kingdom, hence the new name- barefoot kingdom. He will disband the football team. He will defeat 19 with 16. He will negotiate amnesty with terrorists in the prisons. This king will be known for much wine and merriment with the cabal. His armies will threaten fire and brimstone in America and at home, but his reign will be short, for his greed and desperation will undo his luck, and the peoples blood and tears will deliver them at last.
The Gospel of Jonathan 5 vs 27: The King shall have a wife, and she shall be called Patience. She will be their Jesus Christ on earth.
– Created in response to threats against NewsRescue.com from the presidents disciples online
