by Farouk Martins Aresa
If a lady wants a man she fancies, she displays behavior typical of all animals in the kingdom to get noticed. Once she is sure that the attention is secured, she plays hard to get. She expects him to come after her before she gives in. Some ladies may boldly initiate romance. Dominated female world include Aka of Congo, Masuo China, Sworn Virgins’ Albania and India’s Meghlaya.
There are many characteristics females display in the animal kingdom to get chased. One of the most beautiful displays of animal behavior is that of the avian species with beautiful rainbow feathers spread to attract attention of the opposite sex. It is also natural in human behavior. Yet, ladies tell us most of the time that she just wants to look good to please herself. Cosmetic display has gone crazy these days. Some are actually overdone and scary to some men.
Usually ladies are trained not to give in easily to men because once they mate, men’s attention span is less than that of a boy. So in order to get their maximum attention, let them sweat for romance. More ladies actually believe that the longer men wait, the more attention they get from them. The problem is if you play too hard to get, you may lose out to competitors that are ready. Not only for romance but also for family. Note career ladies want to wait a little longer.
After romance at the earliest or marriage at the longest, women have to chase after their men to retain their attention. It sometimes goes both ways but as usual, it is more beneficial for the adult in the relationship, mostly women to keep their men focused. Again ladies have been told never to lose sight of their men. After getting attention and being chased, the role is reversed.
Black men’s appetite for curvaceous buttocks as bootylicious has created market for designers selling clothes to shapely and sexually attractive ladies with more than just bones on the body. Pretty ladies that have been shunned in the past as too fat, now feel very proud in their skin. It has always been the case in Africa and African communities in Diaspora. It is a new fad though for white or Asian ladies expressing their black “genes” clearly in leotards and skintight clothes.
Of course women do not wear tight to be sexually attractive, they wear it to please themselves. So they readjust it for girl-watchers! It seems that some women do not know when to stop and hand over to younger ladies. Even the skintight clothes do not look good on every lady. Some women are better off in flowing clothes leaving the rest to suspense in imagination. But when ladies force themselves into clothes that do not argument their bodies, they look unattractive.
Designers sell artificial padded butts and boobs. One cannot but wonder what happens when a lady captures a man and takes off her artificial padded stuff. The clever ones would postpone eventuality claiming they want to get used to the boyfriend. Brazilians would go to doctors’ clinic for quick operations to add body fat. Just like face lift, some of them have turned awry.
Other cultures have their way of attracting men that may not be appreciated elsewhere. They apply different colors, painting of the body, scarifications or tattoos. Sometimes cultures may have a subculture within, each frowning on the designs of the other. Generally initiation of sexually attractive display suggests certain amount of maturity and age. But some younger girls have defied their parents because they cannot wait to be seen as matured and older.
We have very successful ladies that wished they had gotten hooked earlier, if they had to do it all over again. The choice between career and family could be tough for ladies. Most attractive ladies get snatched first and may lose out on their careers, unless they had decided to work on it later. We have very supportive men that have encouraged their wives in that direction after she had supported them to facilitate his career by staying home.
There were very strong women like Mrs. Ransome Kuti, Fela Anikulapo Kuti’s mother that broke every rule in her days. She never stopped after having her children. Her life was a whole story by itself. She will always be known as a pioneer of Women’s Movement in men’s dominated world before her contemporaries in the Western world gain attention and recognition.
Africa’s first lady Prime Minister of Liberia Helen Sirleaf, married at the age of 17, before her long career in politics unlike many African women. United States former Speaker, Nancy Pelosi reminded the press that she started her career late after supporting her husband and children. So she was not retiring anytime soon. So was Prime Minster Margaret Thatcher of England.
However Hear Word an African play featuring Joke Silva, Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, Bimbo Akintola, Rita Edward, Omonor, Elvina Ibru, Ufuoma McDermott, Zara Udofia-Ejoh, Adenike Odetola-Odeleye and Debbie Ohiri directed by Ifeoma Fafunwa told lady’s deeply emotional, disturbing yet funny stories. But for ladies that fought back in the play to standing ovation at Harvard few men might have lost oyinbo wives. Romance is equally pleasurable for ladies and inevitable for procreation
The crude habit of genetic choice of male over female has consequences not only in Africa but worldwide. It is the root of indignities ladies encounter in male dominated world. It is very disturbing and may predict the end of procreation, as we know it. Arrival of designer babies is just like going to show rooms to choose a car. The next generation may be able to choose the gender, eye and hair and skin color of their children, leaving romance by the way side.
Moreover some crazy scientists were speculating about the time ladies would not need men for procreation anymore since other means could be used to stimulate the eggs for fertilization. Nature has a way of disposing our proposals by the law of unintended consequences. It will deprive us of the joy of romance, courting, all the cultural ceremonies, hide and seek that go with mating. A different type of world that most of us would not desire or enjoy might emerge.
If ladies and gentlemen can no longer look forward to the moment they can romance, get one another into the sack, there would be a great deal of behavioral changes and wonders about what else to do. Pursuit of happiness by the way of coupling, hugging, entertaining and eating together make up most of our world. Other important activities like working is to provide for the families by making ends meet. One without the other may be worth very little.
Romance revolves around a couple as a company of each other; and by the time children are introduced, they become a crowd that can throw a party and enjoy themselves within.