COAS’ Must Be Nigeria’s Dumbest or Crookedest and Boko Haram, Nigeria’s Finest


From Sambisa forest, a small group of ragtag bandits have successfully overtaken large swaths of Borno, Adamawa and Yobe States. This January, the new defense chief, Something-something Sabundu Badeh, who I prefer to call, Fat Alex, promised Nigeria that he will defeat Boko Haram by April. To mark that April, 234 Nigerian damsels… Angels to be precise were seized and are now married to the miscreants. That’s all Nigerians had to remember about April; well of course then too did we have the Nyanya bombings and the shameless campaign dances of “some guy”  a very sick “President” in Kano, over the dead bodies and torn families.

Boko Haram must be given their credit and a heap-load of it. If they can really continuously disgrace the whole Nigerian army and collect land and towns from this “great” army that liberated Liberia, then Boko Haram must be Nigeria’s smartest… finest. In America, in New York, the police are called, “New York’s Finest.” That’s the NYPD. Because they are recognized for courtesy, professionalism, efficiency and all what not. The only Nigerians who have shown capacity, organization and the ability to stay committed and succeed in their mission, no matter how deadly, wicked and insane it is have been Boko Haram and Diezani. Yes, Boko Haram has been more efficient than the most efficient Nigerian company, office or parastatal, if we for a second propose that the COAS (Chief of Army Staffs’) are not the sponsors and deliberately allowing Boko Haram the easy successes they score. And yeah, Diezani too because she stole our $20-127 billion smoothly and efficiently and continues to stay focused and dedicated, stealing our kerosene money and money from oil before, during and after it is sold with deadly finesse; never faltering or wavering, ensuring she pockets all the money we could have used for security and bettering the lives of our people. Boko Haram and Diezani are indeed Nigeria’s finest!

But unfortunately we know it aint so. Diezani is Nigeria’s finest simply because the entire Senate and executive leadership are Nigeria’s dumbest and crookedest. In like fashion, Boko Haram is Nigeria’s finest simply because the Army chiefs are Nigeria’s crookedest or dumbest. Something-something Sabundu Badeh was right, Boko Haram could be crushed in 3 months. Me or you could do so with the army if we were in charge. But thanks to Dr Stephen Davis, we all now know what is going on. That is what stopped the army from defeating Boko Haram for the past five years and that is what still makes Boko Haram miraculously successful.

If not a sponsor of terror, what do you call an army chief who refuses to allow civilian volunteers engage in the war against terror he cannot contain and then transfers tanks, APC’s and weapons to those terrorists he claims he cannot contain? Crooked? Dumb?

As Boko Haram makes its last moves to conquer Maiduguri, look for them. Identify them. They are fat, stupid, corrupt, crooked and dumb and of course they sponsor terror.

Dr. Peregrino Brimah; [Every Nigerian Do Something] Email: [email protected] Twitter: @EveryNigerian