Goodluck Jonathan Comments On #ZariaMassacre, by Dr. Peregrino Brimah

El-Rufai during condolence visit to El-Zakzaky in July of 2014


pres_jonathan1This is a made-up conversation between Nigeria’s former President, Goodluck Jonathan and a good friend of his, former Minister of the Niger Delta, Peter Godsday Orubebe. It is constructed by me to present what might be an actual conversation between the two in relation to the recent events in Zaria, Kaduna.

Goodluck: Nawaoh!

Orubebe: Oga, na so we see am oh.

Goodluck: I killed 30 of them with the 3 of his sons last year and they said it was genocide…

Orubebe: Oga, this time they are dancing.

Goodluck: Buhari killed at least 300 of them and 3 sons also…

Orubebe: My President, maybe it is because they threw stone…

Goodluck: My own unko? Did I not say they fired gun shot at the army.


Orubebe: Oga, El-Rufai said procession is banned.

Goodluck: Orubebe, during my own last July they were on an actual large procession, blocking all the roads when the army confronted them. This one I hear there was no procession. They were in front of that their house. Reports say the army first went there and stationed commandos around the building before Buratai came…this was what they say aroused them that the army was planning another genocide attack on them, that they convened and blocked CoAS.

Orubebe: No procession?

Goodluck: I said there was no procession this time. If there was procession, much more than these number would have died.

Orubebe: But Oga, they said they stoned the Chief of Army staff…

Goodluck: And all the times they stoned me during campaigns…was I not Commander in Chief of the Armed forces? They blocked me from my civic right to campaign, with stones and other missiles, did I order them to be mowed to the ground? Did I send the army to their houses to throw grenade inside?

Orubebe: Oga, I feel you. I am simply playing devils advocate here. Nawaoh! So Oga, stone at CoAS is big offence…maybe the army ran out of rubber bullets and tear gas to disperse those angry youths who were lamenting the army presence in front of their center and still had your own unaddressed incident fresh in their memory.

Humaid Zakzaky killed last week
Humaid Zakzaky killed by army bullets and grenades on his house last weekend

Goodluck: I left plenty tear gas in the cupboard.

Orubebe: Oga they say Buratai had to quickly get to some functions and a party in Zaria that day, they were delaying him.

Goodluck: Is he not supposed to have relocated to Sambisa? Has their deadline not reach?

Orubebe: They are tweeting: #ZariaIsNotSambisa

Goodluck: How many of them? Hypocrites.

Goodluck: When similar angry youth with sticks and daggers killed 800 victims in the post election riots of 2011…what if I had done something to them and sent the army to Buhari’s house that they were rioting for…

Orubebe: These youth did not kill any body Sir. And Zakzaki has denied the ones that held sticks and stones.

El-Rufai during condolence visit to El-Zakzaky last July
El-Rufai during condolence visit to El-Zakzaky last July

Goodluck: Is that not what I am saying.

Orubebe: Oga, no uproar oh. Na so we see am oh.

Orubebe: I heard El-Rufai is condemning them hard and fast.

Goodluck: Nasir! Nasir that called it genocide and paid homage visit to Zakzaky when I did my own last year?

Patience: DiarisGodoooo!


Constructed by Dr. Peregrino Brimah; [Every Nigerian Do Something] Email: [email protected] Twitter: @EveryNigerian; Also on www.Naija.Live Online Radio.