Dame Patience Sacks Aso Rock Kitchen Staff For Voting Buhari [Satire]


News bits filtering in from our Aso Rock correspondent do not bode well for members of staff at the Presidential villa, as the 1st Lady, Dame Patience is said to have thrown a fit at Otuoke after hearing that President Jonathan lost to Buhari at the Aso Rock Polling Unit. She then proceeded to sack every member of the Kitchen staff via phone call.

The Kitchen Staff have since packed their bags and left the villa but they remained defiant and insist they “did the right thing”.

“I voted Buhari because I am tired of being told my cooking is not good enough” said Initimi George, the Chief Cook.

“Everytime you cook something they must complain. President will say Salt is too much. Dame will say Pepper is too small. Everyday.We are tired. We want Change… I have already started learning how to cook Masa and Fura de nono because Sai Buhari will win” said Akpan Effiong, a junior cook at the Presidential Villa.

President Jonathan lost at the Aso Rock PU, scoring 595 votes to Buhari’s 613.

Vote collation is still ongoing across the country. Dame Patience is also expected back in Aso Rock today to fire everyone else who voted against her husband.