Brreeaakkiinng: President Buhari Unable To Return To Nigeria Due To Fuel Scarcity For His Jets [SATIRE]

NewsRescue

Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari who also doubles as the Minister of petroleum has been reported by our Satire news journalists to have been unable to make his trip to visit Nigeria due to a lack of aviation fuel.

Nigeria has been suffering fuel shortage since the Buhari government resumed office which has led to a national disaster with Nigerians being unable to buy fuel for their vehicles, for their business, and for emergencies including hospital visits. According to the report the president of Nigeria did not give himself any undue advantage over the citizens and his jets have been queuing for fuel but unable to purchase.

The president thus had to cancel his scheduled visit to Nigeria where he was slated to have arrived today.

How The Fuel Scarcity?

Posted by NewsRescue on Monday, April 4, 2016

NewsRescue will like to withdraw its earlier breaking report that Buhari had successfully visited the poor African country, Nigeria earlier today. The pictures must have been of him at the fueling station and not Abuja airport.

Celebrating Nigerians
Celebrating Nigerians

Nigerians who were celebrating Buhari’s alleged visit to Nigeria will have to pause their celebrations and pray Buhari is able to buy fuel for his trip.

I Created The Scarcity Deliberately To Store “Strategic Reserves” for Tomorrow – Kachikwu

Ibe Kachikwu
Ibe Kachikwu

Nigeria’s baby petroleum minister Ibe Kachikwu had told Nigerians that he artificially caused the fuel scarcity because he was “not a magician” but only very stupid as he had a “better” plan to save all fuel locally refined as “strategic reserves” and deprive Nigerians of it in these desperate times, so reserves will be there for a later rainy day by creating an artificial scarcity and deadly rainy day today.

Buhari: My Trip Was To Solve The Fuel Problems Of Nigeria

Meanwhile President Buhari, popularly called #VisitingPresident due to his hardly ever being in Nigeria, has reiterated his earlier campaign promises to not be like Presidents of the past who spent so much time flying out of the country unnecessarily.

The President explained that all his trips abroad were in the best interest of the nation.

Buhari-travels

He said he flew to the US by himself to ensure Nigeria soon secured its position and was empowered as a nuclear powered nation.

He likewise explained that all his trips including a recent trip to Benin republic where he bowed for a dead General of the tiny country two weeks after the nation had invaded and captured several communities in the Western Kwara state of Nigeria, was also in the best interest of Nigeria and an urgent travel requirement.

President Muhammadu Buhari attends the Funeral Service of Late Gen. Mathiew Kerekou (Former President of Republic of Benin) at Friendship Stadium in Cotonou, Benin Republic on 10th Dec 2015
President Muhammadu Buhari attends the Funeral Service of Late Gen. Mathiew Kerekou (Former President of Republic of Benin) at Friendship Stadium in Cotonou, Benin Republic on 10th Dec 2015