Igbo Quit Notice: An Idea So Terrible It’s Awesome!, By Churchill Okonkwo

By Churchill Okonkwo,

he “Kaduna Declaration” of “war” on Igbos by some Northern youth groups is a reminder to those calling for the destruction of the “zoo” of some of the possible implications of ideas so terrible that they are awesome. To tell you how terrible the thought of asking Igbos to leave the North was, the entire nation and political establishment were so rattled that everyone, including Afenifere, ACF, FG, Ohaneze youths, NSGF swiftly came out and condemned it and moved to “arrest” the leaders of the groups. Are they already having post-traumatic stress disorder before gunshots and the scary scenario of such a terrible idea?

Irrespective of whether this declaration of war against Igbos in the North demanding they leave the area within three months was made by charlatans or not, it will be good to remind them that it is a pipe dream to think that you can kick the Igbos out of the North and still hold the Oduduwas and the Niger Deltans hostage in Nigeria.  Isn’t it funny that both the miscreants that want to kick Igbos out and IPOB that want to destroy the “zoo” are not letting go of the people of the Niger Delta, sorry, the oil wealth, in South-South? Think about that.

If Ndigbo are the dog meat that should be abhorred, you should also get rid of the dog meat soup which is the Niger Deltans. These charlatans should be reminded that the messy multiple divorce and battle that will follow their “war” against Ndigbo will leave whatever they referred to as the “north” dry and empty. I will advise them to make a road trip to the Niger Republic as a preview of where they are heading to before opening their mouth again.

It is, therefore, not surprising that Kaduna State Governor El-Rufai and the Northern Governors Forum realized the danger and also felt the shame of their youths dancing naked and moved to remove the hands of the monkey from the soup before it turns into human hands.

Having condemned such irresponsible utterance, I will admit that as terrible as the ultimatum given to Ndigbo to leave the North was, it is also awesome. It is awesome because it presents a good case study, a reality of one of the possible outcomes of the “destruction of the zoo,” which IPOB and their sympathizers have been preaching and bragging about for years. What are other possible awesome outcomes of the destruction of the zoo, Nigeria? More quit notices?

Let’s discuss this by (over) simplifying the complex partial differential equation of the “destruction of the zoo” to an emergence of six independent countries from the present fluid six geopolitical zones. Is it possible that the OPC, Ijaw Youth Council, Middle Belt, etc. will also order Ndigbo to leave their countries within a given time frame?

Forget about the fake love from FKK and Fayose to IPOB, OPC and those miscreants that can close Ladipo Market for no reason will finally see their chance to kick Ndigbo out of Oduduwa Republic without hesitation. The Lagoon Oba of Lagos made reference to it in the heat of the 2015 elections will be closer to reality.

Recently, the Niger Delta people lead by Governor Wike, the Ijaw Youth Council, Senator Ovie Omo-Agege for Urhobos and actress Kate Henshaw have made it clear to anyone who has a listening ear that they are not going to be part of the entity called Biafra. So, are we ready to pack and leave Port Harcourt (again), Yenagoa, Asaba, Benin, etc. when the marching orders are issued following the destruction of the zoo?

I will, therefore, want Ndigbo to take a pause or possible have another “sit-at-home” and take a second look at that ultimatum for Ndigbo to leave the north. Let us close our eyes, remember the treatment Nigerians are facing in Ghana, Gambia, and South Africa and imagine the scenario where every ethnic nationality in Nigeria is asking us to leave or give them a break. Even if they will later give us visas to come back, imagine what your status will be as a foreigner in the Oduduwa Republic with all the miscreants that are showing us pepper now even as partners is this Nigerian project. Or are you still waiting to get to the bridge before thinking of how to cross it?

I had wanted to swim ashore and focus my time on articulating how best to rescue the Nigerian democracy, but the “egbe onu” (the act of gun shooting with the mouth) of those calling for the destruction of the zoo keeps pulling me back to the land. As a result, I have once more found myself in the familiar territory of begging adults to come out of the sun.

This time, however, rather than pleading with them not to roast themselves on fire, I want to urge them to celebrate the ultimatum to quit the north and also prepare to leave other regions of Nigeria even before the destruction of the zoo. So, rather than whine on social media, they should roll out the drums and start celebrating. They should mobilize buses and trucks to start bringing Ndigbo back from the zoo, starting from Asaba, Abuja, Lagos and Port Harcourt. It will be awesome to see the people calling for the destruction of the zoo to mobilize to meet their returning brothers at the Niger Bridge Onitsha.

The dilemma of Ndigbo calling for the destruction of the zoo is similar to the problem of a fowl complaining about hunger until she was served praying mantis for supper. Fowl eat praying mantis: “do you want me to die?” Fowl, let praying mantis be: “do you want me to starve to death?” What I can’t understand is why someone that want to see the zoo destroyed is unwilling to pack and leave the zoo.

As a Biafran-Nigerian that have; lived in different part of Nigeria; communed with Igbo brothers in a remote village called Okedayo near Kabba in Kogi state; brothers and sisters in Maiduguri and Brinin Kebbi thriving in their businesses; worked in Lagos with Yoruba comrades; I will like to restate this: Every Onye Igbo in Nigeria is an anthill. Every corner of Nigeria is a soil and we all know that an anthill is a brother to the soil. So, do not destroy nor contaminate the soil.

It is embarrassing to watch both “learned” and “unlearned” young men entertain, and propagate terrible ideas such as giving Igbos quit notice or calling for the destruction of the zoo. Such impolite and extreme expression of terrible thoughts is not expected of a 4-year old child. Yet, it is these extreme ideas that are championed by Nigerian youths today.

As former Vice President Atiku rightly put it, our country is too precious; our problems too pressing to pander to divisive rhetoric. How I wish my generation will rise up to the challenge and join the exhilarating struggle to save Nigeria from the corrupt ruling class.

We are currently witnessing an extraordinary period in the making of the Nigerian history or what will be left of Nigeria after the Igbos are kicked out of northern Nigeria and the zoo destroyed. Meanwhile, let’s continue to watch television with candle light.

You can email Churchill at [email protected] or follow on Twitter @churchillnnobi.