President Jonathan Is Regretting

by Anonymous

President Goodluck Jonathan is regretting.

Right now he is thinking – why did I lose this? Why did I disgrace myself like this?

Jonathan is remembering the first day he entered the presidency shoes… from a man who had no shoes. He is remembering the day he moved into Aso rock and became Nigeria’s #1 citizen.

Jonathan is asking himself why, why he failed.

He is thinking that he should have listened more to the people. He is wondering why Nigerians hated him so much.

He is blaming his advisers for not telling him the truth, but above all he is blaming himself and the bottle.

He is not illiterate; he could read the papers. The signs were there. #BringBackOurGirls, #WhereIsOurMoney He knew of these issues. Immigration scam.

Now he is blaming his wife. Patience. Patience. Why!

He is regretting dancing when Nyanya bomb blast and Chibok happened.

President Jonathan went dancing at a campaign rally, the day of the abduction which was also the day after Nyanya terrorist bombing that claimed 72 lives in the nation's capital, ABuja
President Jonathan went dancing at a campaign rally, the day of the abduction which was also the day after Nyanya terrorist bombing that claimed 72 lives in the nation’s capital, ABuja

He is wondering why all his friends and appointees were only people who had criminal records and indictments.

I could have still been a world president. I could have clinched this elections. It is not so hard to have gotten the people to love me.

I spent close to a trillion naira and could not buy as much love as Buhari did with spending less than one tenth. Why?

Why do they love Buhari like this? Why do they hate me? So had I not postponed the elections and pumped the $6 billion into campaigning, how many people will have voted for me? 1 million? Chai!

I have money but I hate myself. I have disgraced my father’s name. I have disgraced Otueke. Hey! so I will be going back to that Otueke after all. My enemies have won. Jonathan, why did you do this to yourself? You could have embezzled and yet done something for the people. You could have addressed the Boko Haram crises since 2010.

Well, the bottle is my consolation.

*swig