The Best Monkey: 6-Year President Jonathan ‘Proves’ He is ‘Fit’ To Rule Nigeria For 4 More Years


Nigeria’s presidential elections has boiled down to an athletic contest: may the best monkey win.

The ruling party, the PDP has narrowed down the contest to the demonstration of athletic fitness of candidates. This is because Nigeria is a jungle and only the fittest monkey can rule.

Having lost the contest on all fronts, intellect, decency, compassion, integrity, honesty, dedication, commitment to security, plan for poverty, job initiative and others, the ruling party has decided that based on series of physical combat contests they have determined, the best monkey to rule the Nigerian jungle will be chosen.

Nigeria’s president, aka ‘Fake doc,’ who is now recognized for having falsely claimed a doctorate degree in Abuja Saturday walked form Aso rock to Eagle square or something to show his ultimate credentials. He contests against an ex-military General, president Muhammadu Buhari who is 73 years old and ‘unfit’ to rule Nigeria based on his being a physically weak ‘monkey.’

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