Wednesday, April 29, 2026
11.6 C
New York

The Best Monkey: 6-Year President Jonathan ‘Proves’ He is ‘Fit’ To Rule Nigeria For 4 More Years – NewsRescue.com

Nigeria’s presidential elections has boiled down to an athletic contest: may the best monkey win.

The ruling party, the PDP has narrowed down the contest to the demonstration of athletic fitness of candidates. This is because Nigeria is a jungle and only the fittest monkey can rule.

Having lost the contest on all fronts, intellect, decency, compassion, integrity, honesty, dedication, commitment to security, plan for poverty, job initiative and others, the ruling party has decided that based on series of physical combat contests they have determined, the best monkey to rule the Nigerian jungle will be chosen.

Nigeria’s president, aka ‘Fake doc,’ who is now recognized for having falsely claimed a doctorate degree in Abuja Saturday walked form Aso rock to Eagle square or something to show his ultimate credentials. He contests against an ex-military General, president Muhammadu Buhari who is 73 years old and ‘unfit’ to rule Nigeria based on his being a physically weak ‘monkey.’

See more pics from SaharaReporters

Related Posts:

Comments

comments

Rescued Boko Haram Kids Can’t Speak Or Even Remember Their Names

FGN Hired South African Mercenary Killed In Borno Friendly Fire

2015 Polls: Ominous Signs On The Horizon

Patience Jonathan stops Aisha Buhari from using Edo Stadium

Most Popular

Lights Out for Infowars – The Onion Steps In

Three decades of Alex Jones go dark on Thursday — by court order, with the satirical site The Onion taking over the brand, the URL and the platform.

20 Years After Sadam, Iraq’s Oil Money Still Flows Through US Fed

Twenty-three years after the invasion of Iraq, the country's oil revenues still pass through an account at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York — and Washington is now extending the same model to Venezuela.

Russian Forces Kill 1000, Defending Mali From ‘Western, Ukrainian’ Terrorists Coup Attempt [VIDEOS]

Russia's Africa Corps says it killed roughly 1,000 fighters from JNIM and the Azawad Liberation Front in coordinated operations across Bamako, Kati, Gao, Kidal and Sevare on April 26.

Cole Tomas Allen – What We Know

A 31-year-old Caltech graduate, part-time tutor and indie game developer from Torrance, California — armed with a shotgun, a handgun and multiple knives — charged the Washington Hilton lobby on Saturday night.

Trump Rushed From Press Dinner as Shots Ring Out

A 31-year-old Californian charged 50 yards toward the Washington Hilton ballroom on Saturday night – the third time in three years a bullet has been aimed at Donald Trump.

Recent

Lights Out for Infowars – The Onion Steps In

Three decades of Alex Jones go dark on Thursday — by court order, with the satirical site The Onion taking over the brand, the URL and the platform.

20 Years After Sadam, Iraq’s Oil Money Still Flows Through US Fed

Twenty-three years after the invasion of Iraq, the country's oil revenues still pass through an account at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York — and Washington is now extending the same model to Venezuela.

Russian Forces Kill 1000, Defending Mali From ‘Western, Ukrainian’ Terrorists Coup Attempt [VIDEOS]

Russia's Africa Corps says it killed roughly 1,000 fighters from JNIM and the Azawad Liberation Front in coordinated operations across Bamako, Kati, Gao, Kidal and Sevare on April 26.

Cole Tomas Allen – What We Know

A 31-year-old Caltech graduate, part-time tutor and indie game developer from Torrance, California — armed with a shotgun, a handgun and multiple knives — charged the Washington Hilton lobby on Saturday night.

Trump Rushed From Press Dinner as Shots Ring Out

A 31-year-old Californian charged 50 yards toward the Washington Hilton ballroom on Saturday night – the third time in three years a bullet has been aimed at Donald Trump.

Hegseth Fires Navy Secretary – Pentagon Purge Deepens

"He didn't understand he wasn't the boss" — the unnamed source's blunt verdict on John Phelan captures the new operating principle inside Donald Trump's Pentagon.

Israel Desperate to Destroy Iran Energy, Economic infrastructure, Send It to ‘Stone Age’, if Trump Submits

Israeli Defence Minister Israel Katz says Tel Aviv is "awaiting a green light from the United States" to finish what June's bombing campaign began.

Cybercab Production Begins –Elon Announces Tesla’s Robotaxi

Whatever one's politics on Musk, the design is hard to argue with – flush surfaces, butterfly doors, a silhouette more like consumer electronics than a car.
spot_img

Related Articles

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Popular Categories

spot_img
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x